Can a leopard really change its spots?
When a friend told me last Friday night that studies have shown that if you write something down or make it public, you are more likely to achieve it, I expected to be penning a cocky post this week so full of my better bloke achievements that my readers would not only be impressed, but intimidated. Not the case. Apparently it takes time for a leopard to change its spots.
My focus this week has been on kicking the kegs and improving my posture. I've also been sitting bolt upright (for most of) the week, my toes have been dug into the carpet under my desk and my tongue is on the roof of my mouth as I type (however, I am concerned that in strengthening my deep neck muscles I will actually develop a tree-trunk-footballer neck #whateverittakes). Although I am yet to volunteer, I did donate to a charity, so I feel like that has to count for something. Some progress has been made.
Maybe it is safe to say that this leopard has changed half of a spot.
Failures (or areas for improvement- glass half full) this week have included getting black makeup on my beige carpet- this should have been prevented and pre-empted given it has happened before. There have also been numerous inconsiderate parking episodes (e.g. while having passengers in the car, I parked in front of a set of bins and in front of a pole, and said passengers were unable to get out) (I may have also complained when they asked me to move the car- worse again).
However, as Yazz famously said in 1988, "The only way is up, baby!"
Sage advice, Yazz.
Top Bloke: Stephanie Zillman
One of this bloke's BFFs shaved her head as part of the Leukaemia Foundation's annual Shave for a Cure campaign on Thursday morning. Not only did Steph have amazingly long and luscious golden locks, but her hair had previously been described as her "crowning glory." So this was kind of a big deal. Steph also managed to raise $2,500 on the back of my failure to action my volunteer somewhere better bloke. Way to show up a mate, mate. Regardless, anyone who is willing to forfeit their "crowning glory" for cancer research and to raise a butt load of money while doing so is a top bloke in my book.
Top bloke learnings: sometimes other people's needs are greater than your own (laaaaaaaaaaaaame, but true).
Top Bloke: The Bus Bloke
As I boarded the bus to work on Thursday morning, I was met with an enthusiastic "Welcome aboard!" An excellent, albeit, unexpected salutation at 7:30am. However, it wasn't until we stopped at a set of traffic lights that it became apparent that there was a top bloke on board the bus.
While stopped, the driver turned around and firstly apologised for not running the yellow light (better bloke number one). He then enthusiastically asked who was excited to go to work (better bloke number two). Finally, he asked if anyone on the bus was celebrating their birthday and said that he had a Chupa Chup (lollypop) in his change tray that the birthday person could collect on their way out (absolute top bloke move). He remarked that our days couldn't be too bad because the third cricket test was starting and also told us to be nice to our bosses.
That bloke managed to shake up what is essentially a boring job, even if he did seem slightly mad while doing it. He also made the morning of the 50 or so passengers on board and gave them some quality material to talk (or blog) about. What a top bloke.
Top bloke learnings: When life gives you lemons, make lemonade.
Shit bloke: Ukrainian Navy Numbskulls
Ukrainian media outlets reported earlier this week that the Ukrainian navy lost three 'attack dolphins' in the Black Sea, and that the dolphins are currently AWOL. It was reported that the dolphins swam away from their trainers in search of a mate during a naval exercise in the Crimean port of Sevastopol.
"What are attack dolphins?" I hear you ask.
Well, they are dolphins that have been trained to "...find military equipment such as mines on the seabed, as well as attacking divers and even carrying explosives on their heads to plant on enemy ships." The dolphins are said to have weapons such as pistols and knives strapped to their heads to achieve this.
The use of attack dolphins was an initiative originally undertaken by the former Soviet Navy in 1973, and inherited by the Ukrainian navy. The trained pod of dolphins were in semi-retirement until 2012, during which time they undertook "...civilian tasks such as working with disabled children, in order to keep the unit intact."
Without even touching upon the whole using dolphins as military weapons issue and the myriad of ethical questions that that poses, if you are going to train attack dolphins, you should at least keep a decent eye on them while they are in the open water and expect that if you turn your back, they will probably swim off to find a mate and probably attack an innocent diver en route. Not to mention how confusing and terrifying it would be as a diver in the Black Sea to see a dolphin with a knife, or worse, a pistol, strapped to its head making a bee line for you. Amateur shit bloke move Ukrainian Navy.
Shit bloke learnings: Pre-empt situations and think one step ahead, especially when you hold yourself out as being a tactical and strategic organisation.
Update: The Ukrainian Ministry of Defence have denied these reports, as well as the fact that they use attack dolphins (despite the many images that repeatedly surface to suggest otherwise). It is now believed that the dolphins may not have escaped, but that they are still in use, a shit bloke move in itself.
Better Bloke Thought for the Week
If you see a top bloke or a shit bloke, have any tips or pearls of wisdom to impart, e-mail me at beabetterbloke@gmail.com and I will pass them onto fellow aspiring better blokes.
Image one
Image three (note: Although this is not the bus I get to work, I wish it was).
No comments:
Post a Comment