Workplace Woes
When I left work the other day, I said "'slater" to my boss and walked out.This display of frankly, disrespect, made me realise that if I can do that without anyone so much as batting an eyelid, there is a lot wrong with the workplace. So this aspiring better bloke has identified another area for self improvement: workplace etiquette.
Shit Blokes: Where to start?
1. The loud speaker: This refers not only to the workplace foghorn or the people who yell across cubicles but also to the people who put their phones on loud speaker in an open plan office. Mate, my work is boring enough. I certainly don't want to be privy to your doings.Pipe down, and put the receiver to your ear. It's that simple.
2. Mobile phone users: A woman who sits near me constantly gets calls from her husband about her son (who we shall call Barnaby). They go something like this:
Lady: "Hello husband... oh he hasn't.... just try and suck it out of his nose... put him on... I said, put him on... Hello Barnaby, are you playing with daddy?... oh you don't like daddy?... Barnaby! Put it down!" etc.
You get the idea.
Turn your mobile onto silent and take your personal calls outside. I don't care if your son stuck a Vegemite sandwich into the DVD player (and what can you do about it from your desk?) You're distracting and inconsiderate.
3. Apple eaters: there is nothing worse then being in a quiet, open plan office, trying to concentrate and having your concentration pierced by the offensive and distinct "cccccccccrrrrrrrrcccchhhh" of a colleague eating an apple. And that's only the first bite. If you think you're eating the rest of the apple in silence, you're kidding yourself. Choose a more office friendly snack, or take it to a more appropriate place.This leads me onto my next office gripe...
4. Meeting snackers: I've been in meetings where people have eaten apples (refer to 3 above). If you think that that juice isn't going to spray everywhere every time you say something, you're kidding yourself.
Eating a snack in a meeting is unprofessional, distracting and makes you seem like such a fatty that you can't even wait 30 minutes to eat your box of sultanas. Chances are, you will try and make a contribution while you have food in your mouth and everyone will see it. Crumbs may even spray onto the table, or onto your colleagues note books- what a treat.
If surgeons can go hours without taking a bag of chips into the operating theatre, I think you can wait until the end of the meeting. Alternatively, pre-empt the situation and eat before the meeting if you know that it may be a problem. It's not that hard.
5. Millers: People who mill around and chat while you're obviously trying to work are the worst. It's hard enough to get into the swing of things when everyone is tap-tap-tapping away at their keyboards let alone when two, or a bunch, of bored colleagues congregate to discuss their cats and their crushes (probably in that order).
6. Work attire: While in the lift recently a gentleman got in wearing a suit, and naturally, I didn't think anything of it... until I saw his footwear. He was wearing bright blue crocs.
The acceptability of crocs as casual wear is questionable let alone when you try and wear them to work. Have some pride and respect for yourself, your colleagues and clients and make an effort.
Better bloke learnings: Your colleagues don't have to like you "just the way you are", so be considerate and pre-empt potentially irritating situations.
Top Blokes: The Considerate Colleague
I sit next to one of these people, and she makes my day.Generally, these are the people who remember your birthday and decorate your desk. They bake for everyone and always volunteer to organise gifts for people who are retiring or going on maternity leave and social events for the team. They do the collections and get behind organisational charity drives. The kind of person that everyone wants in the team, but doesn't want to be. The lady next to me even brings in extra lunch or morning tea for me because she thinks that I might like it.
People like this are the unsung heroes of the workplace, and absolute top blokes.
Better bloke learnings: Be thoughtful. Your co-workers will like you more.
Update: Just call me Nigella
This better bloke decided to use the Easter long weekend as an opportunity to become a good cook (learn to cook). Some might say that I went from zero to hero, others might say that I made a spinach and feta pie that tasted like lemon, and toed the line between sweet and savoury. Regardless, I also made some delicious Moroccan lamb racks with stuffed peppers.
To show you how far I have come, below is a picture of a pancake that I tried to make in the microwave (Yes. That happened.) and next to it is a picture of the Moroccan lamb.
I secretly suspect I might be quite talented in the kitchen. I'll keep you posted.
Sl8er Better Blokes.
If you see a top bloke or a shit bloke, have any tips or pearls of wisdom to impart, e-mail me at beabetterbloke@gmail.com and I will pass them onto fellow aspiring better blokes.
Disclaimer: Not all of the above images are my own. I have obtained them from the following sources:
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